this has been a very tough journey for our family.... we have all been sooooo terribly sick this year with the horrendous flu season.... it has truly knocked us down and thrown us for a loop... our immune systems are shot from the countless antibiotic treatments....
on the up side, I am feeling a great deal better since having the breathing treatments, antibiotics and using the inhaler has helped... i have a lingering cough but that is all for now to battle....
on the downside, Caelan, like myself and Eric as a child is suffering from chronic ear infections.... i had huge huge issues with this as a child and had to have several surgeries and couldn't hear for the first few years of my life due to the struggles....
Well, here we go with Caelan.... unfortunately she is following in my footsteps... we have been to urgent care 9 times since January 18th and have been to her doctor about 6 times..... she has had 5 or 6 rounds of antibiotics and has shown great resistance to them so it is tough finding something that will work..... this past week her fever elevated and her ear started spewing.... this is both disgusting and troublesome to see knowing we have tried everything and the problem is only escalating.... her latest diagnosis is that she has a perforated ear drum, and this means it has ruptured...... they aren't sure how big the rupture is or how significant of a problem we have until they can clear up the oozing..... she has been referred to a pediatric ENT doctor and we will see him on the 10th of march... yeah, a ways away huh????? lots of kids with the same situation.... guess the doc told me i was lucky to get in that quick and that people have been booked for MAY...... crazy..... but for now they gave caelan more drops, and a new set of meds she hasn't had yet!!!! at least that is promising..... so we will see what happens.... there is talk of "tubes" for her ears... but we wont know until march 10th... i am on the list to be called for the first cancellation, so we hope and pray to get in sooner............
caelans exact words were: "look mommy there is the big hand... do you think Gods hands are that big? maybe bigger huh.... just like my verse mommy, we are all in Gods hands huh mommy.... i can reach to the sky mommy......"
my heart melted.... and the realization set in.... this conversation with caelan is because of little Judson Levashef, my R.D. from Biola's son Judson- who went to heaven a few months ago....
he loved telling bible stories and they had his very own special bibles and caelan often asked if she could get a bible like his and we could learn more about Jesus every day.... and for Christmas we got a toddler devotional and a "toddler bible stories bible".... and the realization was plain as day today that Caelan knows we are in Gods hands but, somehow i lost track of that and was so focused on yelling at doctors and screaming at receptionists trying to get my daughter help.... and here we are driving by the same big hand we always drive by and caelan relates it to Gods hands... and tells me "we are all in Gods hands....." with tears in my eyes... i looked in the rear view mirror and asked if she wanted to go sit in the hand....
we pulled over and she decided to reach to the sky for Jesus instead.... my heart melted and as a mom, i learned something from my 4 yr old daughter.... something about Jesus..... all because of the example led by friends of ours and their little Judson...... i am thankful.... thankful my daughter has a heart of God at the precious young age she does, thankful she is teaching me to have a heart for God at all times and to not get caught up but to lay things at His feet and trust that He will help us through....
we have so much to learn in life from our kids because they keep it simple and look beyond the distractions..... amazing........ simply amazing..... :) i am so blessed........
but for now, it is in Gods hands, always has been, but I guess we are realizing more that God is in control and only he can do what no doctor can do.... and he is the one to always be there to take care of us.... only he knows the future and how we are going to get out of this spiral downwards into all of these illnesses we have faced in our family....
we will keep you updated.... but this is the latest for now...... pray for healing.... pray the damage is minimal.... they are concerned with hearing loss for our caelan and we want to pray that this doesn't happen obviously and we want to pray for wisdom for the specialist we will see on the 10th.... pray for wisdom for Eric and i... pray for sleep- its been tough on us all as she is very uncomfortable and is up most nights all night and cries quite a bit during the day as well, although the discovery of children's Motrin vs. children's Tylenol has made a huge difference it still isn't the cure all..... pray for patience.... it is so hard...... pray for peace and the ability to give things to God and try not try and do everything ourselves because we are nothing without Him..... pray for the new set of meds to clear the oozing in her ear ( sorry its gross huh...).....
just pray how you know how :)
we love you all and hope to be giving better reports soon....
love the brewers
