Steal the sunshine

The dogs were fighting over the spot in the sunshine.... That little tiny sliver of sun peering in the windows.... Lucy won the spot in the sun. Such a funny girl!

Beautiful moments

Riley was so peaceful last night coloring in her room. Page after page she colored..... I sat in her doorway and didn't utter a word, just watched her in this moment. It was one of this beautiful moments I will hold on to. She was so happy, in the midst of peace. She was content..... She sat there at my poppas desk, coloring.... I remember receiving this desk when my grandparents passed away, remember dreaming of this moment, when my girls would be coloring at this desk, enjoying a peaceful moment of creativity. It was a beautiful moment. An amazing moment, awesome for riley, yes, but, beautifully amazing for me.

Lucy + Lola= besties

Besties Lucy and Lola. ;) love those dogs of ours. ;)

Birds flying in the snow!

It seemed like spring like conditions were here..... No joke it started snowing hard and hundreds of birds have been flying like crazy not knowing where to fly to!!!!!!! It's the oddest thing to watch tons and tons of birds fluttering around trying to figure out where to go for shelter..... Poor birds.

Snow and spring flowers

It's snowing, a lot!!!!!! And the flowers Lori brought me this week have opened. The flowers make me excited for spring!!! Yet it's still snowing out. But I guess it's good I love the snow too! It's a beautiful day with all the white blanketing the streets. Eric is taking his GRE test to qualify for the doctorate program.... He started the test at 9am this morning and it supposedly lasts 4 hrs.... Be praying for him.... Pray for safety on the roads since its snowing so much. (the test is in Washington). I'm anxious for him to be home. Yesterday was a long day for him, (and me too trying to recover still and not having him here to help).... he had to teach all day then take the high school snowboard club night boarding and he got home at almost 11pm.... Then had to wake up to take this HUGE test..... Be praying! Thanks!!!!!

Soup and flowers.

Lori brought over soup from tomato street and some flowers. Those two things were a blessing to me! It was one of those days I wasn't sure what i was goin to fix for lunch, it's still challenging to do even the little tasks..... And the flowers were bright and cheery and smell lovely. She is one amazing friend. I appreciate her dearly. Shoot, all the people that have blessed us with help for our family this last week. I cannot imagine life without all of your support. Thank you thank you thank you! Forever, thank you.

Photo from Mandee

Mandee sent this photo to me when they got the frame in the mail. So sweet! Sweet roger in the photo! Ahhhh! So sweet! Congrats Mandee and mark!!!! Eight days and you'll be married in Cabo!!!!!!! So exciting!!!!!

Better.

Riley felt better today and went to school! Ive been laying around all day! It's helped so much. It's helped my spirits too! I feel like, "I got this." I can do this. It's gonna be alright. Today is a better day. My pain isn't as bad, which is great. I had encouraging texts back and forth with Mandee this morn, ( as she gets ready for her wedding in a week!-she is amazing, love her)..... Also, I have a friend coming over for a visit in a bit..... Had a nice visit with my dad on the phone for his birthday...... In addition to all that, we have A visit planned for tomorrow night and dinner being brought. We are so blessed! So incredibly blessed. God is so good! He has provided amazing people in our lives. Thank u Jesus for getting us through all we have. We are grateful.

......6 days now, and still hard days.

Riley was home today with aches all over and a fever. Day two for her. I had a bit of a break down tonight. Had a good Long hard cry. Took a long shower sitting in a chair which is getting really old.... But looking forward to each day getting a little easier. This has been really hard.... Praying a lot. Been praying more than ever. May Jesus give us all we need to get through this icky time..... And may we look at the good things.... Like its going tone spring soon and the flowers will be blooming.... The sun came out today. And I can't wait for more sunshine!.... There is always good to be found in the ick.

Blessed

We have had meals brought everyday by friends!!!!! Cards..... A balloon.... And a plant..... Thanks for all the love given from these people! So blessed from it! Thank you!

Gotta wait.

Side note: .......The bank called today.... We'd been waiting from FHA to get back to us on our approval with our home loan.... Our bank had given us pre-approval and our underwriter signed off, just needed FHA to approve the guidelines.... Well, sad news.... We initially thought we'd start building our new house in April and guess FHA won't sign off till September 21st.... So we can get another pre-approval 60 days before that day and start building then start the paperwork for escrow after September 21st..... Good news is there's an end in sight, bad news is school starts in August and we really wanted to be moved by summer or in summer..... BUT, there is NOTHING we can do! So we'll have to wait it out...... We are trying to be patient, it's just do hard with all the guidelines FHA is placing on new loans.... If we did a conventional loan we could buy now BUT we'd need 20%down and we only have 3.5% down.... So our hands are tied...
Good news though on things additional to this is there has been word that a position for the director of special education is opening up in a district by us...... Eric is going to go for it!!!!! Which would be amazing, would mean more money too..... We have to trust that there will be a way to make this work sooner, or that the timing set before us is for a reason..... We are gonna rest in this news and hey, it's only a few more months longer..... Seems so far away..... But excited there's an end in sight. And excited for a moving date! And thrilled we have decided to build which means a new house with no renovations.... All nice and new! Eric applied for the doctorate program, so I he's accepted, there's no time for a re-model. Something new will be wonderful! ;) so there's the news on the home front. Waiting waitin waiting.

I can do this.

One day at a time. It will get easier day by day, it's got to. Today I was able
To rest a bit which is a good sign. I got a bad rash all over my stomach and chest so doctor said to stop taking all the meds. It is hard to say what the rash could be from. I was on Motrin : hospital strength, Percocet, zofran for the nausea..... Then I wasn't able to go to the restroom, TMI I know, so they put me on meds for that.... Still no luck, so hopefully that relives from the list or I have to go back to the doctors tomorrow..... Nothing is ever simple or text book with me. It makes it so hard and frustrating and exhausting..... I'm trying to keep my spirits up as much as possible. Thankful Eric was able to take off from work today to take care of me.... And thankful the weekend was a for day weekend so Eric only missed one day of work. Tomorrow he's back to work so wish me luck..... Riley's got a fever, so pray that subsides and she's better from whatever she's got going on..... One day at a time. We'll get there. ;)

Mateos brother is born!

Another cousin is born.... Eric's cousin Andy, and wife ivonne have another baby boy!

Emery!

Amy and kelly have adopted emery! It became official this morning! (Amy is Eric's cousin who lives in Spokane).... We are over the moon excited for emery to be joining our family! She's precious and we can't wait to meet her soon!!!!! Congrats Amy and kelly and Abby!!!!!! God is good! His mercies are new every morning! Praise be His name for working this all out! It's was a long four days, and so glad it is official today!

Doctors words.

Dr Andy said this to me..... And he is right... I think. It hasn't been easy.... But with all I was going through with my health I can understand the reasons for the surgery and I'm intrigued at how I will feel when I recover completely from the surgery. When i had my uterus and cervix out five or so years ago I didn't see the relief we had hoped to see.... With the removal of my fallopian tubes and ovaries, I'm hopeful this surgery will bring noticeable results.... I'm
Hoping, In the end, it's all worth it! This has been one of the hardest of surgeries dealing with menopause, surgery scars and wounds, vomiting, fevers.... Trouble all the way around! I've hit tons of complications with this surgery but this morning around 11am I kept my first foods down and was able to take my strong pain meds with the zofran which allowed me a two hour nap. I hadn't been able to sleep yesterday or much last night.... I'm hopeful that this afternoon I've entered into the upswing.... I'm finally starting to get better.... My pain is 8 out of 10... But getting manageable, I'm able to sleep.... I can lay more comfortably. These are huge obstacles to overcome and to have achieved. It's a big deal. Hoping each minute of each day gets easier.

Comedy.

Immediately following my surgery the doctor ordered a estrogen shot for me.... When I took a shower I noticed the bandaid the nurse gave me and I giggled a little. She said having to do estrogen shots are a real pain in the ass. Funny thing, the shot is given in the thigh by the butt area.... The bandaid she gave, a donkey. I giggled at the humor in the fact that she said these shots are a pain in the a**.... And gave me a donkey on my butt. The little things ya gotta hold on to and smile about.

Hopeful.

Eric called the doctor and he called in zofran for me, for the nausea..... I haven't been able to eat much at all today, and I haven't kept pain meds down since 9 this morning.... So, I've taken the zofran and am trying to be hopeful that it'll help..... I've got to be able to get some pain meds down cause my pain is out of control..... A lot of tears today..... I'm praying to start feeling better..... Little by little....

It's not gone well today. My pain is off the charts and I've thrown up all day.... Now I'm dehydrated and weak, and in pain and sick. Please pray. I need thins to start looking up! I'm feeling discouraged and frustrated. I wish my surgeries went smoother, I always have such trouble.... :( I'm in need of your prayers please..... Riley hasn't felt too good today on top of all that.... My mom and Caelan left around lunch time and have been gone since. Poor Riley not feeling well..... So much to handle all at once. :(

So sweet!

Things like this are why I love facebook too. How cool to be loved on and encouraged by family. Thanks Daralynn, aunt vicki, aunt pat and the whole family!!!!! We love you guys and appreciate your support and love!

And....

And, I am home. Getting settled. Got my iPad and iPhone to blog and keep busy while sleeping, sleeping a lot.... Trying to keep the pain managed! Thanks for the prayers. My mom just got in town too.... Funny she booked this trip months ago, convenient it lined up with my surgery and me coming home today from the hospital. Denise was able to pick my mom up from the hospital and they picked up the girls at Aly's on the way to our house. Perfect! So grateful for the help and support offered from friends! My mom and Caelan are at olive garden now having dinner and Riley, Eric and I are snuggled in bed watching tv. Sweet quiet night. Hoping to keep the pain under control. It is critical to keep the pain under control. My body has been through a major ordeal and the incisions are wide spread so the pain is widened. One day at a time. ;)

Loved.

We are so loved. I sit here a bit grumpy in pain and recovering but I'm showered with so much love from friends and calls from family to Eric. So blessed by the prayers. I'm hoping to go home soon. Hoping is the key word. My mom is flying in this afternoon which will be great! This way the kids can settle back at home and their routine. So thankful Aly has been so helpful keeping the girls overnight. Today she is taking the girls to Andreas to see their new puppy which should be a huge hit! So fun for them! Well off to vital signs. Can't wait to be home and not bothered by all this all night and all day long. Seems so excessive every half hour but ie had high fevers, high blood pressure and now very low blood pressure. Like i said, why be normal. Keep everyone on their toes is how I operate! ;) lol. There is a student training today with my nurse. She's learning a whole lot more than she thought coming into work today! ;) cracks me up the look on her face reading my patient history and such. Ya gotta laugh..... I've got to or I'd go crazy and be transferred to a whole other floor in his hospital. Staying sane means finding to Smile and laugh in all circumstances.

An update from my hospital bed.

I've learned I'm far from the normal text book, text book type patient.
Upon check in they couldn't get my IV started.... My veins are tough to get, always have been.... During surgery dr Andy said he puts the parts he's removing In a bag then pulls it through, that's when my ovary ruptured.....
I have a hard time waking up from anesthesia..... So which should have been 30 minutes in recovery landed me 3 hours and an admission to the second floor....
Upon getting to the second floor I was told I needed to urinate, pass gas, walk the hallway, and another few things in order to go home by midnight..... Yeah couldn't do those things, in fact by 3 am i still had not urinated!!!! Which is crazy for someone who is used to going upwards of 60 times a day, and no I'm not Joking and yes I'm on medication for that..... So, now I have a catheter, an in one time out catheter. But now it's 8 o'clock and I still can't go.... So that's not good.... Oh yeah and then I've been throwing up this morning..... Everything is uncommon.... But hey why be normal. Normal is boring and overrated! ;) so that's that, that's how life is today in my hospital bed. : /. Thank heavens for our neighbors who helped with the kids... Michele is in the nursing program and took the kids home with her from the hospital yesterday afternoon.... Then her and Megan, Roxie's mom took turns with the kids.... Then Eric left the hospital around 6ish at night to pick the kids up from the neighbors and take them to Aly's house.... They spent the night at Aly's house.... Now, awe, Eric just walked in the room. Yeah. So glad he's back. Love that man. He's my rock!!!!! He's the best ever!

Surgery

Well. Here I lay. Waiting for yet another surgery. Ive had way to many surgeries, it's getting ridiculous. Hoping this is the last one for, forever, i pray..... I walked in the hospital and panic ame over me. An unfamiliar place. I've had every procedure at st Jude's hospital in Fullerton.... In fact I was Born at that hospital too. So my life has been spent there!!! Well today, I don't know any of the faces here. Didn't know where to go.... Didn't like it at all. ;( sad. Hoping they knock me out soon do I dont have to think about how awkward this all is and unfamiliar it seems.... And the girls and Eric are out there waitin for me.... And I can't wait to be home with them. Please pray for my anxiety. My heart has been racing and they are trying to get that under control. Pray for my doctor. He seems amazing but I had my other doc for more than half my life doing my surgeries and now here's a new guy after all this.....

Nice surprise

Aly dropped by unexpectedly. Best surprise ever. She brought tulips and a card that said the sweetest of things! She was dropping by wishing me well for tomorrows surgery. She is amazing and I'm blessed by her friendship of so many Years. Our whole lives we've been friends, such a blessing to be loving right by one another after all these years. Thanks Aly! You made my day and brought encouragement and love! Thanks for all the things you do!

It's snowing!!!

Within less than five minutes the driveway was pure white. It's snowing hard. It's beautiful!

Caelans legs

Caelan just woke up crying in pain with the legs again.... Nights like these when she lays awake crying in pain are the hardest nights..... Makes me remember why we opted for her to have the surgery. As hard as the decision was to make, nights like these remind me that something is wrong and it needs to be fixed. All the tests, exams and studies show that her legs need the surgery but this mom is in denial in the whole process cause I just hate to see her have to have surgery...... But then I think, wow, hopefully nights like these won't happen again once she goes through it.... Just hard waiting and the recovery, and therapy.... It's gonna be a long long long road.... Praying it's all worth it for her! All I want is for her to rest her little head at night, and sleep a good nights sleep, without this awful pain shooting down her legs. :(

Cards in the mail!

Mimi sent the girls a gift card to target and a card that plays music. Riley is now dancing and singing with the card.... For the fifteenth time. Lol. Riley says shes gonna save her gift card for a year. She's obsessed with saving money.... Caelan on the other-hand is thinking of what she's going to buy! ;)
Aunt Peggy (gran's sister in Illinois) sent the girls a sweet valentine with five dollars in it! Soooooo incredibly thoughtful! Lots of thank you notes are going to be made and sent out. Thanks for the love notes everyone!

Valentines day!

Valentines treats from nana and papa

Nana and papa sent treats for valentines day! So nice of them! The girls each have new books to read, yeah!!!!!! Getting new books is the best around here for them! Some stickers, an ornament and some gum were quite a hit too! Happy girls on a happy valentines day.

Happy valentines day.

The girls picked out valentines day t-shirts.... This morning they dressed themselves picking out the outfit to go with the t-shirts they picked out. These girls crack me up. Happy valentines day!!!!!

Brave.

When life gets hard and scary, I remind myself that I need to be brave.... We must take the challenges that come to us..... Keep going because soon we'll be on the other side of it all and it won't seem so scary after its all done.... Friday I have my surgery. I'm scared, I'm not gonna lie. But I gotta do this and get it done with. Praying for bravery. Strength.... And peace that it's all going to be better in the end.

Some of the best

We have some of the greatest friends! We have had such a blast with John and Lori and their girls.... We've been joining them for dinner after church for the last month or so and it's been awesome. Lori has helped me through so much too in dealing with my recent health struggles. She's been such a huge part in our support! I appreciate them so much. I cannot explain in words what this has meant for us!!!

Sunset

It's light out. In the winter, the days are short with daylight. It's 5pm and we are on the way to church enjoying the beautiful sunset on the prairie. It's the little things we must enjoy, which add up to great things.