Thrift store find!

Yet another thrift store find! Yesterday we went to orange Lutheran high school thrift store and got this old secretary desk for 25 bucks! We needed a desk so bad and had been looking for something small with storage. This is gonna be perfect! Eventually we'll get new knobs and paint it. So excited about this piece, a treasure.

Awe

When you take time to slow down, it's amazing what you see more clearly. Thought today about the things God has done then got sidetracked thinking about creation. He has placed the stars in the sky, he knows us all by name. Thinking of the big picture. There's a big big world out there, all created by Him. Tonight, go outside, sit in silence and just look at the stars. Sit there. Just take time from the business of life and just sit. Open you heart and mind.....

Ordinary

Today at my moms group we heard a speaker speak on living extraordinary lives for Jesus when we feel like ordinary moms. I can't wait to share more about how it touched my heart today. It hit ever level of my soul today and I drove away in tears, but they were good tears. My heart overflowing. I have joy, a joy in my heart I haven't had in a long time. God has blessed me with an amazing set of women in my group and each week I've been touched by the speaker. God has done so many things in my life the past two months that I cannot even begin to list. Today I felt a joy and all day I've walked around with a smile on my face, and that's not because life is without pain or heartache because there is a lot of pain in my life and a lot of struggle but today I realized that God has placed me in a church, in a group of women, and in situations that I am so blessed to be in. God saw my need of friendships as well as searching for purpose..... Today I saw, God has me in this place, right here, right now. I cried out to The Lord for a year, many tears, and The Lord moved us to California and I see so many people that God is using to work in my life, and that is amazing!!!! To see the hand of God shaping my life through these relationships. It's powerful stuff.
Hope this is making sense.... Afterall, I'm sitting in my car full of jumbled thoughts trying to explain what's in my heart and in my head..... Sometimes transferring that doesn't come easy..... But what I'm trying to say is today, I found joy again. Joy despite the hard things I'm dealing with in life. Today god showed me that he is taking care of me, he saw my needs and answered my cries.
Thank you lord for my moms group, for each speaker that spoke this last month at our group. Thank you for using all of these women in my life. Thank you Lord for showing me today that I am extraordinary and not ordinary. We all are extraordinary people made by you. Lord thank you for our church, for the school my kids are attending. Thank you for helping us find our way back to California. Lord, thank you for caring for my soul. For healing me everyday an putting me back together again in order to find joy.
Lord you say "Joy comes in the morning" I went to bed singing that phrase from a song, Lord you prove yourself over and over to me, joy did come today, this morning. Lord help me to never doubt your abilities. I'm in awe of you lord. Thank you lord. From the deepest parts of my soul, thank you. For hearing me always. Help me to have ears to listen to others, that you are using in my life to help me grow. Lord thank you for these friendships. Thank you for my husband and my kids. We are so blessed by you.
Amen.

Sent from my iPhone

Sent from my iPhone

Amen.

Fragile

Lunch date

Even if us just Taco Bell, I'll take it! A lunch date with Eric! One of my favorite things is to stop what I'm doing and go meet him for lunch! Best thing! Today was amazing. We have laughed a lot lately together, which is such a feel good thing, makes me feel like we are connecting on a deeper level, finishing each others sentences and joking with one another..... Today we got a huge laugh as I went to open my mild sauce packet..... He took it out of my hand and said, "hey, it's perfect (then he laughed and batted his eyelashes at me).... He said, "Marry me, again"..... I turned over the other packet on my tray and laughed, the perfect answer! I laughed so hard! So did he. He said gosh, the other packet should say yes!!!!!! With enthusiasm ;) we got a great laugh out of it all. Ya know, it's the little things that bring such a sweetness to the day! Made me so happy. Love days like this! Feel good moments that make me stop dead in my tracks and become in awe of God and all He is doing in putting the pieces together in my life. I feel complete and made whole again because Eric and I are good. When you marry, the two become one, and when things were hard for us, I felt like half of me was missing and I felt incomplete. Today I'm reminded of the wholeness I feel, again. And for that I am so very thankful for Gods blessings, in making me feel whole again. The power of healing. It's huge. It can change a persons life!

journaling from Meg

Last week, I went to the orange circle, and ate at rutabergorz, a favorite old spot we used to frequent when we lived in Cali. I walked the circle, and sat and enjoyed the salad, alone. I needed this moment, this very moment to digest all that's happened the past few months.

Sometimes I still can't believe we live here again, and wonder when we will ever go home to Idaho, then i think, oh yeah, we live here now. It's been a hard transition, one of the hardest of our lives.

Moving to Idaho was so much smoother and simpler, at the time. Moving back has been confusing and chaotic, and then I have to remind myself that God is not the author of confusion (my mother-in-law told me this and she is so right on!)
Satan likes to fill our heads with doubt and corrupt the very thing Jesus is trying to sort in our life...... Since moving back, I've been full of doubt and anger. I LOVE being back by family, it's not that, it's leaving our life in Idaho and trying to start over on Cali. It's been hard and frustrating for me. We were settled in school for the girls, Eric finished another masters degree, we had a boat and lived five minutes from the lake.... We had some real sweet-sweet friendships there, our church was amazing!!!!! i could go on and on about the life we had there.... We loved our church and they were an amazing support to us! Eric had a stable job, we had everything situated. We had a down payment for a home, we had a piece of land we liked and a builder we had chose, and were planning to build, in fact the house would have been done around the end of this month..... Anyhow...... it was so confusing for me, why up and move now?




Then I look back to this past year, and realize it wasn't all glamorous, nothing ever is as good as it seems in our minds... i had to have a major surgery, Caelan had her surgery on her legs, which was a major ordeal, Eric's job wasn't moving forward, even with all the degrees and college he has gone through, he felt like he was a standstill professionally. Another hard piece for us was having support from our families with our kids. Eric and I didn't go out as a couple enough. We had some help from neighbors and friends, which was great but we lacked that family time we had wanted for our kids growing up... the economy was hitting us hard, we struggled every month to make ends meet because the pay in Idaho is less than half of California.... granted the cost of living is high in Cali, but there are some expenses that make Idaho just as costly, winter wardrobes, heating bills, travel expenses to see family, shipping costs on everything we need to send to Cali for birthdays etc.... we sat down and prayed about it all... and realized so much in seeking God's place for us... we LOVED living in Idaho. It was like being on a vacation for the 3 years that we lived there...


another factor for us was our marriage. there was so much strain on our marriage. we had been involved at church since the day we got to Idaho, which was important for us, we had also been in small group studies since we got there, and i was in a bible study for women, but Satan still comes and swoops in!


Eric and I were in a very dark place in our marriage.

not too many people knew this, and when i began this website 7 years ago i always said this is our journey, we share the good the bad and the ugly... and this time for us was ugly in our marriage. it was awful. i say this because i will be the first to admit that life isn't perfect, and i know facebook is like fantasy land for people. people seem to post all the greatness in their lives and not too many people are transparent, and for us, we feel it is so important to be transparent to people because God can use the obstacles in our life to help encourage others... there are peeks and valleys in life, and for a year we were in the lowest of valleys.


we were spread thin, with our time and our resources. one surgery after another... i had a ruptured cyst, and was the sickest i had been in years. i have always struggled with health issues but this past year put me through the ringer... i was weary, i was in a depression. i felt helpless with my kids too because i was trying to take care of myself just to keep afloat. caelans leg surgery was hard. we had to go through therapy and several sets of castings on her legs before the surgery, and then casting after... this was hard on us all... there were other outside situations too among our family that caused hard times for us.... after 36 years of marriage my parents divorced. this was so hard! then this past may my dad decided to get re-married, so we met Kathy in May.... My sisters health wasn't the greatest this last year either and she had a few scares, which was hard living far away.... there were SO many things going on, and it was all happening all at once! this took a toll on our marriage. i wasn't coping, and neither was Eric, and we were drifting apart.
This was the hardest time in my life watching my husband drift away from me. we went through some of the deepest darkest valleys during the winter time, into spring time. there were some circumstances that made me think twice about whether or not God was there! i would cry myself to sleep wondering if God could hear me. i remember questioning his existence and feeling angry that i couldn't keep a grasp on it all and pleading with God to help us out of this rut.... and things got worse. and i doubted God more. i thought, if there was a God, why would he put us through this.... Eric came to me in may and told me he applied for a job in California and that there were several jobs he applied for, and a lot of talk about hiring him in different school districts.... i was shocked. i was blindsided because i wasn't prepared to move! not that far, and i never expected we'd ever go back to California... after all, we hated it there, which is why we left in the first place.... but, i submitted. i prayed and asked God to hear me.... Eric got on that plane... i was a wreck the whole time he was gone.... he came back with a job offer.... we decided to move. the next month or so was hard. we hardly spoke to each other. i hardly slept at night. i was so confused. i didn't know what i had done wrong, what i said, or did....

it came time to move to California. we had no place to live, and we were driving down and leaving our stuff in storage in Idaho....

this was the hardest thing! we got to my in-laws and asked to stay a few weeks till the job thing was settled.... Eric had to officially sign and accept an offer.... That 1st week we got to their house we went to a church service in Oceanside, amazing church, NorthCoast church.... something happened. the pastor spoke and i saw Eric differently in that moment...

it was like a dark cloud lifted from our presence. i cried, He cried. After church he and i went to in-n-out burger, oh yum. we sat in the parking lot and i listened. i opened not only my ears, but i opened my heart to Eric that night in the parking lot.... i listened to the hardest things, we prayed together, and i realized in that moment, God was there, He was there all along.... and He brought us 1500 miles to California for this moment, this moment right here, the parking lot.
so many people say, God can move in your life no matter where you are.... but, this moment made me realize, God was in this move, God brought us back to California because it was His will.... and this very moment was confirmation for me, that He was working in our lives.... and from that day forward He has given me little reminders of His presence.

I'm not saying that the things that i was told that night were easy, they weren't, in fact they were the hardest things in this world to hear, but what I am saying, is there is power in surrendering to Jesus. There is power when you invite Jesus into your situations.... God never leaves us! Never!
a few months have passed since that night, and at a church service we heard Danny Oertli sing at church,  check it on iTunes, He's an amazing song writer and musician... anyhow, he sang at church, and every time i hear the song it sends chills down my back... "Fight for Me" is the name of it.

I realized a lot in listening to this song, it taught me something.... God is always fighting for us, we just need to be still. i have learned a lesson, and that is: not to doubt His presence, He is there, always, i just need to listen.... and God won't speak audibly per say, but, He can speak through His word, through worship, and this song, i felt it was God audibly saying, Be still, I'll fight for you..... 

Everyday we must choose to surrender... every morning surrender the day over to Jesus.

Lord, what do you have for me Jesus.... Show me your ways, Lord. give me eyes to see You, ears to hear what you have me hear, today Lord....

God is doing some amazing things. Eric and I are doing better every day, and I'd have to say, better than ever! God is bringing healing to our marriage each day.... i am so blessed to be married to Eric. I'm amazed at all God has done. Thank you Jesus for the valleys, even though they are hard, they teach us... Thank you for the peaks. I will celebrate those moments and always give thanks for the peaks. Thank you for my marriage. Thank you for Eric.

it is so important that you not limit God and what He is capable to doing. He can do some amazingly-wild things! don't ever ever doubt what He can do. I am in awe everyday of all He has done in our life! and I am so grateful, so very grateful for it!

i want to encourage you, if you are in the valleys in life, hang in there. surround yourself with people that can pray with you, encourage you, and always speak out to Jesus, He hears your cries.... he never leaves your side.

Eric:
i love you. 
i thank Jesus everyday for you.
thank you.
i'm so glad we are surrendering to Jesus.
Thank you for believing in US.
forever yours,
Megs

New design for the blog

I worked on redesigning the website today. Little changes here and there..... Gonna work on some posts that i have saved as drafts in my inbox..... Gonna start opening up about all that's gone on the past four months. Life has been one heck of a rollercoaster. Things are looking up though, everyday drawing nearer to Jesus helps the ride go smoother. I realized trying to figure it all on my own only made for a harder ride, the kind of rollercoaster that you wanna get off of and never ride again. Yeah, that kind of ride. The make-you-sick-and throw-up-kind, yeah, i got off that ride. I hate when I neglect to see God standing there with His arms open and i don't acknowledge His presence. Praying each day to fix my eyes on Him.

Love these two

L & L

G.A.T.E.

Spelling test sure seem a lot different in California verses Idaho. The amount of homework is mind blowing. Not used to all this, but, the kids are keeping up, even with spelling tests like this! Way to go Caelan! Good job! She's doing great in the GATE program at school, which is for kids that are advanced. She tested into the program high tests scores place kids in the program. Riley is in the class for kids who are showing signs of going into GATE, it's called the "enrichment program." Both girls are doing great! So thankful for their hard work and preserving through hard projects and lots of work!

Balboa island

Last week we walked balboa island, and this week again! We love walking there! Quiet, and beautiful. I made a yummy dinner at home and we all shared a pizzookie for dessert after our walk, yumminess!

Eat!

I bought these 3d letters a year ago! Found them when I was unpacking! Crazy the things I've found ;) anyhow, I decided to do some decorative tasks yesterday among the normal cleaning day.... So I made more hair bows for the girls out of felt (flowers this time) and painted my "eat" letters in orange, turquoise and a yellow-mustard color. I also re-painted our mirror in the dining room. (Switched it from white to a gloss black paint.) Feels good to be crafty and get creative. I'm finally getting into my element in this place!

Jamba Juice smoothies

All we have to do us walk a few steps and we are there from our place. Living in the big city is pretty awesome. Yesterday after school it was another 90 degree day! So we had to grab a jambs juice, a healthy smoothie to cool down ;)

Space shuttle

Eric's friend missy got this shot of the shuttle right by our place. So cool! The end of an era for this space shuttle!

Space shuttle flew over our place

It got really loud! I ran outside and saw the shuttle fly right over our place!!!!! It was the coolest thing! It was so close!!!! My phone didn't capture how clear a view we had just now! Way cool to experience. I hope my kids got to see it at school. A lot of schools participated in viewing it, hope they saw it. What an experience. Once in a lifetime opportunity!

Space shuttle!!!!

The space shuttle is landing in California today!

The Ned show

The Ned show came to school and now we've been helping the PTA raise money selling YoYo's from the Ned show. The whole show was teaching kids about bullying and being kind to others. Caelan is pictured here with Morgan (Eric's cousin Greg, his disabilities Morgan. So guess that makes her caelan and Riley's second cousin?) anyhow, fun having family at school ;)

Amen

New CDs

These two CDs have blessed me this week. Richly blessed me and spoke to my heart..... Every little part of my soul has been touched by some of the songs on these CDs. Thank you Lord for giving people the gift of music to bless the lives of others in the world that are struggling. These such songs become their prayers. This week, some of these songs became my biggest prayers this week. Lord, thank you for giving me the words to speak through these songs and the inspiration they brought to me. Find some music that can bless your life in this moment. You will find that when a son touches your soul so deeply, when you listen to it again in the future it will hopefully have a way to bring you back to that first moment and all over again, you can be blessed.

Hot!

It's been so hot!!!!!! Eric and I went to balboa and walked balboa island and enjoyed BJ's pizza. We were so blessed that Eric's parents agreed to take the kids overnight last night so we could have a date night. Such a huge huge blessing. We had such a long hard week it was a good night to walk the islands and re-cap the week and talk about future goals and decisions that are in front of us right now. Huge blessing to be able to have the night.... Life has been hard. I feel like I say that over and over and over, but truth is, it is hard. I typed this huge long post thursday and I lost the whole post! I'll have to re-think those thoughts and post it all again, which will shed some light on all that's going on for us. For now, happy Saturday! Stay cool out there my California peeps! Is a hot one again today!!!!

Day two

Yay!

It's official!!!!! Two very very happy-full-of-joy kids of mine are ecstatic!!!!! They love their school and both have many friends already!!!!!! So thrilled!

So happy!

The school does staggered release to avoid congestion in the parking lots..... So Riley got out earlier and came over to me and said she will be waiting with her new friends for Caelan! Wow, ok! She then hugged me and said she loves her new school and is surrounded by 5 or 6 new friends!!!!! Wow! Such a good first day! So happy. I stood at the tree waiting for Caelan and tears of joy flowed. And two parents came over and chatted with me, and the PTA president introduced herself to me. It's been a fabulous introduction to this wonderful school. This was such a good thing for us today..... Moving from Idaho hasn't been an easy transition. We love our little place and Eric loves his job and the staff but the kids haven't connected like we hoped..... Today reminded me that God can help direct us if we seek him, and for the last two weeks we've truly prayed about this decision in switching schools and it's been so hard but today affirmed we made a good choice. Riley is so happy here. Now I'm praying I get the same feedback from
Caelan when she comes to the gate ;)

Tears!

The girls were enrolled at a school that wasn't working on so many levels it was awful! :( Eric and I have given it a couple weeks and it just wasn't feeling good for us to leave them there. We went to back to school night and it all confirmed our feelings ad immediately Eric went to the district level to fight for them to be at the school we had originally tried getting them into but it was full.... Well, the principal pulled some strings and a lot of favors were done for us! But it worked out! The girls started at their new school this morning! So glad it all worked out!!!! I LOVE the school and the teachers have impressed me hugely! In fact mod morning his morning caelans teacher emailed me to let me know she was doing great transitioning today and gave me info to help her get organized in the program, a shopping list. ;) I'm so happy! I can't wait to pick up the girls and hear all about their day!!!! Their second cousin, Morgan goes to the school so that was sure a fun thing too for the girls to find some comfort in. ;) God is good. He is always providing just what we need at just the right time. Riley had just had the worst of many breakdowns coming home from the other school. I'm sure today will be much better for both of the girls and I look forward to hearing all about their days!!!!!! We've lost lots of sleep over this whole thing. Looking forward to settling in a routine now that they have the right school for them! ;) ahhhhhh. A feeling a peace has overcome me. So thankful for it.

Monday night football

For years we went to don jose's for Mexican food on Monday night football nights.... Eric gave the girls and I a dinner out surprise here this last Monday night. It was so fun!!!! And we saw a table of co-workers at Eric's new job, so that was cool. The food was as fabulous as ever!!!! Such good memories and having something familiar for us and the girls was a blessing. The girls totally remembered it! And the same waiter that always waited on us came over and that was perfect! He waited on us, and the girls thought it was cool he knew us all and remembered what we ordered ;)

One project done!

A few pieces of furniture got beat up in the 1500 mile commute down to Cali..... This dresser was one of the worst of the items beat up! One of the legs ripped off and the top was demolished, the sides, you get the idea..... Eric fixed the leg of the dresser and I sanded and re-painted it. All done! Yay! So glad it's fixed and the paint job was nice cause it's all fresh and perfect again! Love the freshness of a newly painted piece. I'm realizing more and more I'm more of a modern/clean lines kinda decorator verses the shabby chic I always thought I liked. Things gotta be tidy for me these days. ;)

From Mimi

The kids have had a really hard week..... Caelan has cried a lot of tears missing Idaho and her school there.... Riley's done ok but just seems a bit off..... Life is hard adjusting to newness of being back. New school, new job for Eric, new church, new place we live.... New new new. It's not easy having everything be different than what you're used to and the kids have had such trouble.... Anyhow my mom got the girls this littlest pet shop jet set! Wow, its been a huge hit!!!!! They have been playing with littlest pet shops a few years now and it hasnt stopped being their favorite thing to do together! This was a blessing for them to have a new toy to bring some fun into their day! It's gonna be a really really fun new addition to their pet shops! Thanks mimi, for thinking of the kids and doing that for them! A special treat for sure!

Glasses

Caelans teacher approached us this week and said Caelan is struggling with her vision..... We had noticed a lot this summer her struggles in seeing when the tv in on and when she is reading..... We took her to get an eye exam and yep! Wow!!!! Her eyes had gotten severely worse since her last exam..... She is -4.00 in her one eye which is really really a strong prescription for a little girl!!!!! They wanna see her back in a couple of months and see how her eyes are adjusting...... Here she is in her new RayBans! ;) a hefty price tag or glasses but being able to see is priceless!!!!!

Ripon, Ca visiting friends

Some amazing friends of ours from Idaho just moved back to Cali as well! And on the way home from my dads wedding we stopped in Ripon to see them and swim and hang out for the day. Amazing to see them and the kids were all in heaven playing together again! We all spent a ton of time together in our daily life in Idaho it's been hard on the kids and for us as well not having time together! Today was delightful catching up! Thanks John and Lori for having us! Fabulous being together again! Can't wait to see y'all next month! Awesomeness! ;)