It is cold out. The streets are covered in black ice because the sun came out to melt the snow away. There is no longer that cloud cover hovering over, but blue skies which bring on very chilly weather. It has been a very hard long week. We have all endured the stomach flu, the weather has been hard to settle into this year, and it is the holidays..... Today I got a call from the school secretary saying Caelan fell on the field at recess and is covered in mud. I ran over to the school to give her a whole new outfit. It has been one of those weeks. To say the least. Some days I feel so adjusted to life here and other days I feel as though I haven't settled in.... After going to drop off the clothes it thought taking advantage of the olive garden soup, salad, and breadstick lunch special would be perfect for today. Some good old fashion comfort food.... I walk in alone and sit at the bar and watch other moms mingle from the girls' school. They all met here for lunch. I sit alone at the bar, quiet and still. Not my old bubbly self inviting myself into conversation in hopes they'd invite me to eat with them..... Nope, i sit quietly. I think to myself about how awesome 2 o'clock will be when i get to meet a friend for coffee. Splendid. So yes, some things make me feel settled and some make me feel like I haven't quite adjusted.... I'm not in any particular circle of friends, I have a few close friends but not from one circle.... A lot of the moms here have grown up together and have this bond.... Then I remind myself that even back in Cali I had the same experiences, I didn't belong to a certain circle of people but I had a few close friends I held dear and still do. I guess it's different here with a small town because everywhere you go, you see people you know from some place. In Cali I could escape to target an never have run into anyone I knew, here, there is only ONE target so the chances of running into someone are pretty high chances.... It's a different way of life here. Very quiet town. Everyone knows everyone. I love it, but then at times hate it. Hate that people are prideful of being natives here and are quick to judge us Cali people because they never think we will last here. But we do. And there are a lot of us. Seems like so many people are from California. It makes it funny! So, yeah i sit here alone eating my lunch blogging away.... But ya know, it's good. I have enjoyed times like these. I can be still. Pray. People watch. And be grateful that my journey here is not over. I will be a part of this place. I am a part of the place. And every day I will find my way in this place. God will bring the people into my life that I need. And he will provide a circle for us.... My neighborhood has become that circle. Our homegroup for church is down the street, and those friendships are amazing. We have great neighbors! And I pray daily that we are able to stay in the neighborhood. And I pray daily we will buy a home soon. It is a way to solidify that we are here. And our journey remains here. And we will have a sense of belonging. Side note on that: we got the green lights from the underwriter and our bank! We were pre-approved and are now left fighting FHA.... We pray. And hope. Like i said our journey is not over. It's just begun. ;) and the holidays are here. My mom will be here for thanksgiving and we are going to Eric's aunt and uncles house which will be great. After Christmas mike and Mary will be here, which will be great! So, I sit here, and I can have a positive perspective, yes I sit alone at lunch but I have coffee with a friend right after.... And the holidays might not contain all the family but am grateful for our family that is coming up for the holidays and will miss those we will not see. Life is about perspective. And I am choosing to be more joyful each day able be glad in the little things. And I hold on to what is right in life right now versus focusing too much on what isn't right. ;) thank u Jesus for our blessings.
